Conversations with Kerri – Dating in 2016

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conversations w kerri

Ahhh 2016, the year that many will want to pass by and leave in the past. Many idols lost, politics a mess, climate change undeniable, and the romantic world… What romance?

Dating these days is battlefield. People are full of insecurities yet supported by a false sense of safety, all thanks to social media and technology. You’re in a relationship, things are going well, no real complaints. You try your best to learn about each other, spend time together with busy schedules and whatnot… But… Yes there is a BUT… But look at so-and-so the “always happy couple” on your Facebook newsfeed. You start thinking… Geeze we aren’t as happy as they are, look at all the cute and sweet things they do together. You look at your partner or spouse, why aren’t we as happy as they are? You see social media of other couples and you compare, constantly, whether you want to or not. “Oh well he posts cute comments on her pictures, why don’t you comment cute things on my pictures? Do you not like my pictures?” And an argument ensues, an argument that never would have happened 15-20 years ago. Never. Do we ever stop to think, would this argument be happening if Facebook didn’t exist? If Instagram didn’t exist? If Snapchat didn’t exist? … And so on? How many of today’s arguments among couples wouldn’t even happen if it weren’t because of technology or social media? I think we could all agree that there would be far less issues.

Choice. We all have choices, we have always had choices. Social medias, dating apps, and communication makes meeting new people easier than ever. It’s wonderful when you’re single and want to meet people outside of your current social circle. But in a relationship, it can make you feel like you are just here “for now” because there is an abundance of options out there for you or your partner. Not keeping promises? Not shaping up to be as you expected? Discard them like last week’s trash and begin your window shopping. Facebook, Tinder, POF, you can chat, sneak, exchange pics with whoever you like, because YOU have options. So why work for anything? Why stick around and make changes to yourself? Why cry? Why make up and discuss the hard stuff? It’s uncomfortable right? So if we can avoid it, why not. Welcome to dating in 2016.

Say you meet someone, the date is set. You’ve been texting for days, the excitement builds and builds, for one. The other slowly starts texting back less, you assume they’re busy or having a tough day. The day and time comes for the date! Yay right? Wrong. They bail, last minute with whatever excuse, and you let it slide, we don’t want to think that they really weren’t that interested, that we were just one of many choices and we didn’t make the cut? That can’t be it? Sadly, that’s more often than not, the truth.

There is still hope for us searching for love in 2016 and the years to come. Be honest, be up front. Be realistic. Just tell someone how you really feel, whether it’s good or bad, you can never ever regret being honest with yourself and others. And one day, your honest self will be exactly what that someone was looking for. Give up the facade of the perfect happy life on social media. We are better than this and have to remind ourselves that not everything you see can be believed. Believe in those that show up when they say they will, that text back when they say they can and those that are there for you even when they don’t need something from you.

Written by:
Kerri Griffin
Ontario, Canada