Don’t let the title confuse you, it’s not what you think. Drag your mind back out of the gutter and just focus here for a moment, this will all make sense here shortly.
I am a cowgirl; a competitive barrel racer to be exact. If you don’t know what barrel racing is, look it up on YouTube. It’s an extreme speed sport involving horse and rider. The rider must have complete trust in her horse to be confident when they enter the ring to compete. That’s the first aspect of any relationship, whether it is between horse and rider or between two people in a relationship.
The other day I was discussing with a friend my relationship with my horse. It goes something like this:
“When I first got my horse, I knew there was something special about him, something I could trust, like he would take care of me and not let me down. I’ve now been partnered with my horse for a year and a half, our bond has grown. I can honestly say I love him. When I see him after work, he lifts my spirits, he teases me, makes me laugh. He seeks my affection, he’s happy to see me. We have a partnership; He works well for me, does the job I ask him to, and in return I take care of him with massages, rubbing liniment on his joints, treats and so on. I know he will never lead me astray when I am on his back, he will always do his job with all his heart, he takes care of me and keeps me safe in our high speed sport. It is undoubtedly a partnership. There is no master, no boss. I wish I could date a people version of my horse.”
I know this all may sound odd and you’re likely thinking “Here is your typical crazy horse lady,” but just hear me out. I said I would date a people version of my horse because the relationship I have with him has many of the core aspects and values that I would want to be part of a relationship I would have with a potential boyfriend. With my horse I have trust, undoubted trust. Like anyone, no one is perfect, human or horse, but even when he makes mistakes, I still love him. Trusting your partner is key in any relationship and it’s something I believe we all want to feel. We take pride in knowing we are trusted as well as knowing we can trust our partners.
We have all heard it time and time again that communication is key in any successful relationship. That’s another thing I have with my horse that we all also seek, but it’s an unspoken bond. He can sense my emotions and my mood. He is often reactive to this, if I am stressed or nervous, he starts to feel that way also. If I am sad, he becomes affectionate. He knows how I am feeling without me saying a word and I, him. I think that this is also something we hope to find in the dating world. You come home from a hard day at work, and simply by looking in your eyes, your boyfriend or girlfriend knows you need a hug. We try to hide our dark feelings of anger, stress, and sadness, but having someone who can see through the wall you put up, and shows you support, that they’re there for you, is something we all secretly want. Look up from your phone and look at your partner, are they smiling? What is their body language saying? Pay attention. You can learn more about them by learning their mood by their eyes or body language.
Have I lost you yet? Now, this works both ways, that’s the key. You can’t give and take in a relationship, you have to give and give because the second you take, someone else loses. Now, I know that there are faster horses, better looking horses, horses that have won more money or awards, horses that are more sought after, but that doesn’t make me want to give him up at the chance of having someone else. I appreciate him, and know that what we have is irreplaceable. Every ounce of understanding and effort my horse gives me, I give back to him in ways I know he enjoys and appreciates. He is not my pet. I am not his master. He is my partner. We are a team. If we all view our boyfriend or girlfriend as a teammate or partner, have their back, have their best interest at heart, and always carry ourselves with means of integrity, it will go a long ways to helping your relationship be successful.
And that is why I want to date a man who is like my horse.